I never want to see another naked old woman again.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
