I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize