I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
