Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
