just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
