i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
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