I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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