Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
