Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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