no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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