he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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