Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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