you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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