i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
