Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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