My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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