Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Randomize
