Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
sarcasm needs its own font
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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