and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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