It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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