I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
