Porn is love you can see.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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