No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
