Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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