im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Randomize
