When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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