i wish my penis had a tongue
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
wow bdsm is so cute
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
why does every cop we meet know your name?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
