I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
