I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Boobs speak an international language.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
