I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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