Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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