I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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