I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
dude i'm inner monologue high
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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