chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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