he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
