4 words: hood of his car
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Two words: blizzard sex
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
