I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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