he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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