I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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