I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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