Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
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