I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
