You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize