dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
