They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
