We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize