Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
