It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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