ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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