I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
