Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
