So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
