So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
