Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize