her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
