nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
