Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
