hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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