I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
