you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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