look no pants
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
