Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
