I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize