do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
